I know there are too many men and women out there who are challenged in the bedroom, be it confidence, fear of rejection, confronted with their changing bodies and responses (or lack thereof) and the list goes on. But just like other challenges that come up in their life, why, when it comes to sex, do men and women feel drugs are the answer?
The drug companies are making billions of dollars as people try to find a cure for low libidos, erectile dysfunction (more likely erectile dissatisfaction), this disorder and that. It seems like there’s a new sexual function disorder every day! But there’s one big thing that I feel people, not the drug companies, are missing. People have lost their connection to their own bodies. What turns them on, what gets them wet, what gets them hard? What gets them off? Because of life and all the wonderful stresses it offers, we have disconnected from our bodies and we are expecting a drug to solve the problem! Well, like other parts of our lives, let’s get back to basics.
Understand your body, how it responds, what it needs. And no, you’re not going to have the same response today as you had 10, 20 and especially 30 years ago. For some, it will be better and for others it may not. But it can be! As we get older, sex becomes a fuller experience. It involves much more than ‘The act’. It involves touch, communication, experimentation and laughter. Especially laughter! The pressure is off, well for some. The pressure to perform can be huge especially in new relationships and sometimes in relationships that are not so new but hopefully if one person in the relationship has decided to be vulnerable, and try to spice things up again, that’s fantastic! Reigniting an existing relationship can be very rewarding.
The amazing and wonderful thing about bringing an old relationship back to life, is there are no 1st dates, not knowing if the person you are meeting is ‘real’, and putting all that work into meeting someone can be huge. It sometimes seems monumental. Well, you don’t need to do that. Consider revitalizing the relationship you have with the person you are with. And, no, it’s not always easy or simple. It requires one of you to put yourself out on a limb, in spite of rejection and sometimes feeling ridiculous. Just do it! Take it slow though and enjoy the process. It can be so much easier and far less complicated than going outside of your relationship. Really! Give it a try, you may be surprised!